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July 2019

Throne Thoughts,

DoorDash The Devil’s Hockey Puck

I decided to door dash again tonight. I finished eating about 27 minutes ago and I’ve been sitting on the toilet for 26 and a half minutes. Yes, I timed it. It was just a burger…or as we’ll refer to it from now on, the devil’s hockey puck. Somehow, that son of a bitch managed to fuck up my evening by sending me the driest, hardest burger patty in the history of burger patties. Now I’m paying the price, all because I was hungry. The sheer volume of what’s coming out of my brown eye, should scare the shit out